Feeling like I'm lost somewhere in the Vindhyas

A therapeutic blog entry shouting over the overwhelming blur of wedding preparations, a full time advertising job (that if nothing else, is currently pinning me down immobile to a revolving chair and a computer) and some galloping bridal angst. Too much has been happening.

My mom and I have been doing the perfunctory and exciting rounds of jewellery shopping. So far we've been doing what we'd like to call poking around, first carefully covering the most unglamourous and fascinating alleys of Chickpet heavy with stale air and the sweat of hard labour, and after getting our kicks from hammering out the best rates from every wholesaler and getting an eyeful of eye-popping variety, heading to the more tepid streets in the upmarket areas of Bangalore, to supercilious hypnotic window displays, and to cocoons of diffused synthetic light which make my 50 buck danglers look like they cost a million.

On our snooping around trips, we loitered into a showroom that specialised in North Indian style jewellery. For the moderately South Indian Brahmin mother-daughter team that we were, it was dazzling, very unfamiliar territory, but still worth exploring. The pieces were breathtaking - Jadau styles, Meenakari and Kundan work, and rich with massive uncut diamonds - far, far away from the world of gold, cut, colour, clarity, carat, classic evergreen styles, weight of gold, throw of gem sparkle and good investment that we knew so well. My mom and the extremely warm and eager jeweller got into a microscopic discussion about the intricacies of an exquisite peacock styled set. I thought it looked like a marvel - I hadn't seen anything like it before - and it fit our budget. My mom of course being a sum total of all her South Indian Brahmin life experiences enquired about the diamonds. Oh no, not again. The jeweller, a North Indian, with a very knowing but deflated grin complained to us that we South Indians always buy 'expensive' diamonds. And my mom vociferously added her bit to that premise. She had some North Indian friends who ran off to Delhi everytime they needed to buy diamonds, because diamonds up North are much cheaper and the designs are much better. Again, the deflated grin from the jeweller, who I was beginning to think was swimming against the tide here in Bangalore with his beautiful North Indian ware, although I think he was wise in steering clear of Singara Chennai where he would have been eaten alive. Sensing dissonance which he was probably used to, he feebly tried to reassure my mom that he was the most well known jeweller in the North, and a household name like CKC to them. Mom declared that the diamonds didn't shine well and asked him the per carat rate. Both the jeweller and I could see the peacock set slipping out of our hands. I felt sympathy for him and the craftsmanship that had gone into the piece while my mom's interrogation raged on. He told us it was Rs4200 and I could feel that somewhere in my mom's mind there was a reaction similar to what happens when you put a steel spoon in a microwave. This was unacceptable. What diamonds were these? He said they were standard, good quality 'G' grade diamonds, and he said that South Indian jewellery stores (like CKC and Ganjam) usually sold far superior (and unnecessarily so, he tried to hint) "F' grade diamonds. The fate of the gorgeous peacock set was sealed with that submission.

I have reason to hazard a suppostion from my limited experience that North Indians, in keeping with their relatively stronger outward nature and their predisposition to 'show' wealth are 'lookists' when it comes to jewellery. The sets that we saw had massive uncut diamonds. The absence of 'cut' makes an uncut diamond gorgeous but stupendously lower in price compared to a cut diamond, affording the design not only a massive size, but also a colossal number of diamonds in a single item. Plus, they use standard quality diamonds, and not 'F' grade. South Indians on the other hand are more inward and understated. They are less concerned about the look and hold 'value' in high regard. What goes on in their mind while purchasing a piece is that if they want to make something else out of the incumbent in the future, is it worth it's weight in gold and gems? North Indian pieces with their emphasis on looks, waste gold in craftsmanship and use lower grade diamonds, so the resultant piece doesn't really add up to much resale value. My mom and grand mum on the other hand still recall how aunts came up to them on the wedding day to check how 'heavy' their traditional gold coin chain was. Obviously, ruthless judgment followed.

North Indians take pride in how 'valuable it looks to others', or evocative value, and South Indians take pride in how 'valuable it actually is', or intrinsic value.

So where does that leave an exasperated bride-to-be? I do want value, but I do want something unusual as well. I feel like I'm lost somewhere in the Vindhyas right now. Hmm. Maharashtrian jewellery? Sigh.

In our poking around we've pockmarked this beautiful city, broken hearts, dashed many hopes and driven salesmen up the wall with our constant clamouring, hemming, hawing and bickering - me, in my young and audacious attempt at rightfully owning my wedding and insisting on 'design', and my mom in her eternal search for 'value'. It has become both addictive and an obsession, with each shop throwing a fresh challenge to us. So much so that disagreement become a bigger gratification in itself, resulting in us going home without a single piece of rock or metal at the end of a day's exploration.